Inspireshine on Myspace:
http://www.myspace.com/inspireshineMy other LJ, for personal blogging:
http://tovors-mind.livejournal.com/profile
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First, a word about me:
I am both positive and negative, both light and dark, both a comedy and a tragedy, both fun and ranting. I have at times not been happy with my life and where it seemed to be going, but who among us hasn't gone through similar dark times and had to face obstacles and trials?
Even in the ever-present darkness, my darkness, there is a light striving to break through the gloom and shine outward, and that is also depicted in my writings via my deep thoughts, random philosophies, and my comical observations and occasional ramblings.
In one of my novels, one I had completed long ago but had not yet had published, there is a man who goes through an ordeal that destroys his dreams.
Several years later in the storyline, I wrote about him being near suicide, of sitting at his window in the middle of the night with a blade held against his wrist, gazing at the darkness outside and using it to symbolize the darkness in his heart. But then he noticed a malfunctioning streetlight, flickering on and off in the darkness. The light would come on for a few seconds, driving away the darkness, only to flicker off and be consumed by it again.
The character noted that the light was in competition with the darkness, struggling to overcome it. After flickering on and off for some time, fighting back but yet always being overcome by the darkness once again, suddenly the light flickered on and stayed on for the rest of the night, somehow strong enough again to repel the darkness. He related that to himself and wondered how he would find a light within him to repel his own darkness. At that point he put the knife back in the drawer, feeling hope in what had seemed like a message to him.
That is what this blog is about; what it is meant to capture and convey: that weak, flickering light within us all, fighting back against the overwhelming darkness to overcome it and light the way forward through life. This blog was conceived because there is a light within me that inspires me and gives me hope to move forward even on the darkest of nights, on the most winding of roads. You have that light too; we all do. It is the light within. I call it inspireshine.
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Don't get me wrong; I'm no Tony Robbins. Hell, I'm one of the most negative people I know. But I overcome my negative nature from time to time, sometimes few and far between, sometimes rarely, and yet sometimes so often and profoundly that I surprise myself; and somehow I motivate myself and inspire others.
Recently, a couple of months ago, one of my new friends--the husband of a woman I had become plutonic friends with prior to meeting him--told me that I was the most positive person he had ever met.
That took me by surprise, and I revealed to him that I was extremely negative, sometimes felt sorry for myself, and had far more regrets for what I'd lost in the past than positive ideas for a better future.
He told me, "But you don't show that at all, and you make us feel good being around you."
I am either a good actor, or else I believe my own words when I say that at times our perception is a deception; that there are better days coming around the bend, and better ways of looking at the days that pass, and the times we face.
There is a fine line and a vast divide between life and living, for it is easy to be held back by darkness and be living, yet not feel alive. It is easy to feel the light shrouded and the way blocked, and it takes a lot of strength at times to move forward; even more strength to believe that moving forward when darkness is falling can make a difference.
Some people call it willpower. Some call it drive or inspiration, an inner fire. For me the inner fire is art, writing, and deep thought. That’s what gives me life, what makes me alive. I call it imagination, creativity, inner light; the light within....inspireshine.
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The following is not my art. I enjoy it because it touched my senses and my imagination, and I find them inspiring.
the Enlightened Mind:
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